The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)The Human Centipede movies have a simple tale, in the first Human Centipede movie, it begins like so many other movies with two college girls getting lost in the woods. LOL.
Human Centipede 1: This movie starts off stupid right off the bat and I am always trying to find the logic in movies, its a thing with me..and here well..just read on... These two college girls are on a road trip in Europe. Their car breaks down on the side of the road. Now, I have to interject here: Instead of doing the logical thing and walking to the nearest gas station along the road, these two college educated air heads take off in the woods in search of help. Duh.
After fighting and whining, they come across a home in the middle of nowhere in the woods and eagerly knock on the door of Dr. "You don't want to know me" Hieter. He lets them in and right away you sense he's an arse. The story only gets more illogical from here and let it suffice to say, the girls become the unwilling participants in a medical experimental surgery to see if three humans can be connected via one digestive tract face to butt style. The girls soon discover there is already an Asian guy trapped and waiting to be included in the experiment and it just goes from bad to worse for the dim witted girls.
After a successful surgery performed by Dr. "I look like Christopher Walken's brother" Hieter, the three victims endure the terror of being connected in the most gruesome of ways. Just when you're ready to hurl up your Schneeballen the Asian leader of the Centipede apologetically defecates after being fed. This was a raw deal literally for the girl that was directly behind him. Miraculously the police suddenly become involved, and just when it looks like there may be help for the girls the Asian guy decides to take his own life. Now it's bad enough to be connected to other people face to butt, but imagine being connected to a dead person's rear end!!!
This movie just turned my stomach from beginning to end. I would have to say it is one of the worst movies I have ever wasted two hours of my lifetime on, and guess what, as bad as it is, Human Centipede 2 makes it look better!!! Is that possible?????
Human Centipede 2: If you thought the first movie sucked, well guess what, this movie sucks harder. Receiving a 10 out of 10 on the gross factor, this story will make you wish you hadn't eaten that Chili earlier. You may see it again, and worse, it will no doubt remind you of this movie...in a really bad way.
This movie is about a mentally disturbed, pudgy, verbally abused middle aged man named Martin that lives with his mom. As slow and mentally disturbed as he appears to be, he is somehow gainfully employed as a security guard no less in an underground parking lot that is somewhat reminiscent of the Silent Hill video games. It has that sort of "feel" to it. Gamers will know what I mean.
Martin is an obsessed fan of the first Human Centipede movie and watches the movie repeatedly while at work. His obsession for the first movie inspires him to go to great lengths to not only achieve what Dr. Heiter accomplished in The Human Centipede 1 movie, but to surpass him and use even more humans. If you thought the logic was lacking before, well this is where it really flees the scene never to be heard from again. In the first movie, at least the Dr. was in the medical field so you can almost see where he might be able to pull off an operation of this kind, however, how on earth obsessed fan or not, can a mentally disturbed security guard be able to successfully recreate the operation with even more people? To make matters worse, it seems Martins real desire isn't so much to successfully attach the human beings, but the real thrill he gets is when he forces the first in the centipede line to eat a large amount of beans. This is when this character really lights up, and this is where I start wishing I hadn't have had chili for supper. This movie makes even less sense than the first movie, is grisly, gruesome, gross and just a waste of money and time. Watch it if you must, but trust me, you won't be impressed. These movies are strictly for those that enjoy nausea and violence.
